Let Us Remember....

I was recently reminded that I am not only a historian for myself, being an avid journal-er, but I am a historian for my family.  I believe that in my time and season, my genealogy is keeping a history of  our NOW.

It has been almost 3 years since I sat down at my computer before a blank screen.  We had recently moved to North Carolina. Chad had just started his orthopedic fellowship.  We had three kids, ages 5, 3, and 1. Fast forward to present day, Chad has been practicing orthopedics in Reno, Nevada for a year and a half, and we have added another little rugrat to our bunch.  Our children range in age from 7.5 to 7 months. My days are filled with running kids to and from school and to and from activities, changing dirty diapers, laundry....so much laundry, picking up after people, reading to children and being the best villain I can be to our crime fighting superheros.

There was a time when I loved being a mother.  I couldn't wait for babies to wake from naps so we could play. I planned outings almost everyday.  I didn't care so much about paint getting on the table or Plah-Doh dropping on the floor. I enjoyed singing songs, sitting down to snuggle and watch Cars for the thousandth time.  But something changed...My kids became more of a burden. These days  naptime and bedtime can't come fast enough.  Sitting down to color for 5 minutes leaves me anxious because I have so much to do-that laundry is not going to do itself!  I have struggled with the balancing act for a few years now.  So, this week I prayed.  "Heavenly Father, please help me to find joy in motherhood again.  Help me to enjoy these sweet spirits that have been placed in my care."

You know what I got????  A sick kid.

I got a little boy who ran a fever in the evening forcing me to cancel my plans in the morning so we could stay home.  That sick little boy who slept in my room over night kept me up a lot, with the help of his baby brother.  Together, they coerced me to turn off my alarm and stay in bed until my big kids would wake----at 6:30.  

When Peyton and Avery arrived, the 4 of us snuggled in bed together (like we used to do ALL the time) watching old home videos of everyday moments like Landry chasing the kids around the tennis court in our old apartment complex.  It helped me REMEMBER the simple things,  REMEMBER these fleeting moments should be the most important things.  

Have you ever had the worst parent day ever....You yell and nag at your kids all day, you wonder what you were thinking bringing children into this world (and wish you could take them out of it---but not really), you wonder how you will survive the next day....When does school get back in?  Is it time for college yet?  And then you sit down and scroll through photos on your phone and wonder why in the world would the Lord bless you with these beautiful, amazing children.  They. Are. Angels.  You couldn't imagine your life without them.  You never want them to grow up.  You REMEMBER why you do what you do everyday and that the grind is...dare I say it...worth it.  

That's what that video watching, snuggling in bed moment did for me.  It helped me REMEMBER that when I take the time to reflect on and document our daily experiences, I can love and find joy in the most mundane of days as I care for my children.

So here we go again....will I be perfect at this? Probably not but I want to preserve our history for those who come after us.  I want to be able to REMEMBER.